I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
