i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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