Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
