He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
