your parents love me but you hate me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
