I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
