just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pants are for mortals
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
