let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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