Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
