Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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