cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I need a burrito and a hug.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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