Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
