im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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