so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
