there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
