Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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