I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
