i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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