I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
