we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
