why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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