when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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