oh god the rape fog is back!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
