I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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