yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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