Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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