i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She's the barista slut.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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