I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
