yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
