I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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