covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize