I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize