I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
