I hate your face
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
