remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
