It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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