Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
