Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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