it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
