no. you can't hotbox the world.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
