You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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