I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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