So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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