we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
