i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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