you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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