I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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