Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
