i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
