u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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