Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
