I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
