i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
