I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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