Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
