I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
