I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
