hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
