Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
